Carl Rogers, The author of the essay “Communication: Its Blocking and its Facilitation”, presents the idea that communication between people today is struggling. Rogers states that the “major factors in blocking or impending communication” is due to “our very natural tendency to judge” other people’s thoughts, ideas, and opinions without ever being in their shoes (419). Rogers goes in depth on the overlaying problems of communication these days but also gives us various ways to help us communicate on a new level of understanding. When communicating with individuals, we must listen and not immediately judge the person. Rogers puts blame on this as one of the biggest reasons for communication breakdown.
Know what you believe in and be gracious in conversation with others. Listening to other viewpoints does not mean you agree but you may be able to understand how the other person feels. I feel taking the time to listen quietly to others is a first step in our private lives to prevent arguments or heated debates. I was checking the Thesaurus for ideas on replacement words for this essay and ironically enough this is what I found: discussion= conversation, debate, argument, dialogue, chat, talk Argument= quarrel, fight, disagreement, dispute, row, spat, squabble, contention This is amazing, apparently we can choose different words but all comes full circle and we land back in the argument culture. The first step is to follow Tannin's advice and stop and look at all sides.
Since we don’t realize that others’ styles are different, we miscommunicate with each other causing problems and conflicts in conversation. Conflicts are influenced by our gender and experienced everyday in the workplace, public, and private settings. Men and women both have many different conversational ways. The common ways among us men often involve “using things such as joking, teasing, and playful put-downs.” We can sometimes come across as hostile and arrogant when we aren’t trying to be. The conversational rituals common among women are often ways of “maintaining an appearance of equality, taking into account the effort of the exchange on the other person, using up effort to downplay the speaker’s authority so they can get the job done without flexing their muscles in an obvious way.” Women use conversational strategies to avoid appearing conceited and take another person’s feelings into account.
In Deborah Tannen’s essay, “Can’t We Talk,” she was able to persuade me men and women misunderstand each other due to the simple fact that opposite genders perceive language differently. Tannen states in her essay, “Learning the other’s way of talking is a leap across the communication gap between men and women, and a giant step towards genuine understanding.” Throughout the essay, she uses great structure and examples to inform her readers of this gap between the genders and how it interferes with communication and understanding. Deborah Tannen structures her essay in a way that makes it easy for the reader to follow, and in turn, helps make her point. When first looking at the page, it is very appealing to the eye. She has six different points proving the differences between men and women through examples.
Holden decides to stay at a hotel instead where he can relax and not have to deal with anyone at Percy anymore. Holden feels sad every time he receives a present because he feels although he didn’t deserve it. For example, the ice skates his mother took the time to buy, and now he’s being kicked out. He feels like he let her down. Holden gives a fake name so he wouldn’t have to elaborate on his life to this woman.
The most significant part of this theory reveals that men feel that it is crucial to be respected, and it is important to preserve their independence, while women feel that it is more important to be liked, and they are always seeking a human connection. In short words Genderlect is the word used to describe the relationship between a speakers gender and the language that they use. For example, it is stereotypical accepted that women gossip, often discussing personal and domestic issues whereas men communicate at an exposed minimum level only to communicate important topics. This happens also with the sound of voices of different
Let’s Understand Each Other Better The article "Sex, lies, and Conversation," written by the professor of linguistics Deborah Tannen, explains us about the many dissimilarities amongst men and women that occur in the way they communicate with each other. It explains to the reader why there is a lack of communication and understanding between a man and a woman who aim to pursue different objectives through conversations. The article is a very effective passage that provides logical reasoning to support its claim of developing cross cultural understanding in order to avoid the clash of genders that is caused by failed conversations. Most of the women complain that men are not good conversational partners at home. According to the females, men do not listen or talk to them and do not contribute in day to day discussions.
The problem now, is that people feel too much of themselves. Everyone wants to be independent and an individual but they have to see that one day they’re going to need assistance from someone else. We would rather criticize and attack instead of rationally discussing our differences of opinion. We see this every day in our culture. Our community as a whole loves to be argumentative.
Later on in the movie , after mixing with Rohana and Rohani he forgives his mother and goes to visit her. This is known as external attribution as his behavior was influence by situation he was in. For Brian, his mother contributed to his experiences. He blames his mother for not saving him when his dad humiliated him by leaving him by the side of the road naked as a child. He took it out on her by not visiting her and being rude and cold towards her.
The story has some bad examples, especially if you are a young reader. “Sammy, you don’t want to do this to your Mom and Dad, (A&P, page 298)”. Here is an example of when Sammy quits because he saw the beautiful woman and now he wants to go hang out with them because he is fed up with his store manager. As a young reader, they might get the idea that Sammy did the right thing, while older readers will argue that the story provides teens with bad examples and thus may cause them to think like Sammy when they encounter such situations. A second example I would add is, “But remembering how he made that pretty girl blush makes me so scrunchy inside (A&P, page 298)”.