Dark Hero Essay

948 WordsDec 2, 20114 Pages
Michelle Marie Zambrano English 090 October 19th, 2011 Critique on Josh’s Essay 1. Does the students essay have a thesis statement? If not, what do you think the essay is arguing? If it has a thesis statement, does the thesis have both parts of a thesis statement—the what and the how/why? a. Josh, I think that you need to expand on your thesis statement. I do see where you begin to start but then you kind of give us a tiny whiff of the essay other than telling us the specific things you will be telling us in this essay. As long as you remember the notes we took in class or look over those notes that I can see you coming up with a well thought out thesis statement. Don’t forget to be more argumentative 2. Does the thesis statement answer the question: Which song has the more realistic view of love? b. Josh, it is a good idea we have this assignment because I really did not realize that we are supposed to include which song is more realistic love in the thesis statement. Well I am glad that this is a clue to me but to answer on your behalf yes your thesis statement did include the answer to which song was more realistic on love. I have another suggestion for you, in the way that you have your thesis set up you should include like minor things from your major paragraphs that help you make the decision on why one song is more realistic than the other 3. After the introductory paragraph, do you have a clear understanding of what the essay is arguing? List two ways that the introduction can be improved. c. Josh, although I do have a clear understanding of what your essay is arguing I think that is too narrow rather than narrow. First I think if you stuck a couple of sentences including the similarities and the differences that would add some information. And second do a favor to yourself and look back at the example and remember

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