Coping With Loss And Grief

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COPING WITH LOSS/GRIEF FEBRUARY 18, 2010 The emotional state of an elderly person dealing with death is dependent on many variables. Variables such as age, onset of illness, and cause of death will affect each person who comes in contact with the deceased differently. There are some standards established in the study of death that can be used as a guide in helping elderly people that are grieving a loss. The grief process is broken down into five overlapping phases as identified by Kubler-Ross. (Kubler-Ross, 1969) Beginning with shock the first phase the griever will have a first reaction of "No" and a feeling of numbness. This is a common first reaction because most grievers display this reaction. Denial quickly follows shock with something like "This can't be happening to me." In the third phase anger is usually displayed in different ways. By blaming themselves, doctors, hospitals, and family members’ grievers will show their anger. Mourning is next and is almost always the longest phase of the grieving process. Feelings of guilt, loneliness and depression are noted. Another obvious sign of mourning is unprovoked crying. Making the realization that life must go on is part of the recovery phase. ‘Loss, dying and death are universal, incontestable events of the human experience that cannot be stopped or controlled’. (Jett, 2008). With aging the number of losses increases, these losses include loss of relationships, in the form of significant others as well as social contacts made throughout life. Another form of loss involves changes associated with the transitions in our lives, for example, physical health as well as mental health. Another form of loss involves loss of independence and changes in financial security. In spite of the types of losses each of these life events can trigger grief along with the process of mourning or bereavement.

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