Not only do parents lose their shared dreams and hopes for the future, but they also risk losing their children. The stresses and strains of divorce affect parents in different aspects of their lives. First of all, many people assume that conflict with their spouses will decrease as a result of divorce, and so divorce is foreseen as the cure-all - the hope that ending the marriage will eliminate all the troubles. However, while divorce can eliminate some problems, other conflicts actually arise during or after this process. Relationships usually do not end cleanly and couples are forced to deal with difficult situations that involve fights and compromises, such as moving households, custody and visitation struggles, child support payments and more.
That's why friends are there for you. If you keep things private to yourself, people around you wont understand what is happening with you, which you end up hurting you and make another pile of stress. The most common examples are relationships. When your relationship isn't going so great and you keep it to yourself, seeing your friends or families and they ask you how you are you doing. You get more stressed and hurt because you're keeping it private.
This stresses the importance of attachment, and therefore the negative impact long term deprivation has on children. Richards (1987) theorised that the experience of divorce seems to affect children more than a parent’s death. This may be due to several factors such as little or no contact if one parent leaves the home; stress of family reordering; or the child may blame themselves for the divorce. However, this was a case study which cannot be generalised as the children’s situations are unique, and therefore different to others. Moreover, death could seem to have a less affect on children depending on their upbringing and nature of the situation.
Because of this, other defenses are also used to keep these unacceptable feelings from consciousness. For example, when someone learns of the sudden, unexpected death of a loved one, at first he or she may not be able to accept the reality of this loss. The initial denial protects that person from the emotional shock and intense grief that often accompanies news of death. Chronic or terminal illnesses also encourage denial. People with such illnesses may think, "It's not so bad; I'll get over it," and refuse to make any lifestyle changes.
An ADVO, for a victim of domestic violence, may be hard to obtain. The typical actions of a perpetrator involve social isolation, stalking and attempts to control every moment of the victims life. With the typical actions in mind we can understand that some victims physically could not obtain an ADVO. Women also fear that an ADVO will make her life worse. They fear a backlash from their husbands would ensue and an ADVO is just a piece of paper it is not a physical barrier stopping an offender from seriously harming the victim.
Children usually are not involved in the discussion of divorce by the parents. Between divorcing parents there are some effects of the children that need to be discussed including how to keep good communication between parents after the separation, transportation of the children, deciding parenting time, how to handle situations where the children might try and turn each parent against the other, how the discipline of the children will be handled and the emotional instability that divorce brings. It is not uncommon in divorced families for the parents to try to communicate to one another through the children. Children are told “tell your Mom this” or “tell your Dad that.” The parents do not realize that poor communication and using the children to speak for them often causes the child to be afraid to express any feelings at all. Children need to be able to communicate and express their feelings and the parents need to have an open line of communication with each other for their children, or they can expect emotional problems to arise such as depression or anger.
This could be a struggle because some parents live their dreams through their children and that pressures them to do more than they are capable of doing. More stress is being added to that because they want to have friends and make their parents happy and it can be hard for them to make time for studying and hanging out with friends. Most times these teens have a fear of failure and are under a lot of stress. If they feel like they have failed at something that their parents would be disappointed about they could feel like they aren’t good enough or just have unhealthy thoughts about themselves and they could end up being depressed or will do unhealthy things. Peer pressure is another challenge teenagers face.
They are not given the experience talks from family, the actual good advice from friends or the knowledge from school. Students don’t always receive the support they need due to many reasons. Their attitudes give many parents intimidation to even bring up sex, and many try to avoid the subject because they think their child will avoid it too. Teens don’t try to show their emotions for many reasons, and try to hide the way they really are from parents, which can end up in a bad situation. Also, many parents are either too busy working or too bust living their own life.
The effects of divorce on each child will differ from another child. Children will be effect by the living situation and may miss the parent who is no longer living with them. Divorce is hard for everyone, it might sound simple, but it’s not easy for a husband and wife to decide to end a marriage. Often times they spend a long time trying to solve the problems before deciding to divorce. But sometimes they just can’t fix the problems and decides that a divorce is the best solution for everyone.