Throughout the course of this class, I have learned the different components that are involved in everyday conflict. I have learned how to handle confrontation in a way that will benefit myself and anyone else involved. More recently I have learned appropriate listening skills that help the speaker feel that they are being listened to and that they are understood. When I noticed that my friend Hanna seemed upset, I thought that I should try to figure out what was bothering her. I started by using a “door opener”, and simply asked her if everything was okay. She told me that her grandfather was in the hospital and that he was very ill. I made sure when she was speaking that I used good attending skills, keeping good eye contact and keeping a “good posture of involvement”, with my shoulders facing her and my body inclined forward. After she stopped talking, I felt like there was still more on her mind. I used another following skill and “door opener” and asked if she was handling everything well. She went on to describe that it had been really hard on her and that her and her grandfather were very close. I then used the reflective skill “reflecting feelings” and said, “It would be very discouraging and stressful to have a loved one in the hospital. If you need anything, I am here for you.”
I believe that because I used good listening skills, Hanna felt more supported and understood. By using these skills, she probably felt welcome to express how she was feeling. I did not feel that any of these skills were difficult to use. I often use these skills when listening to someone speak to make the speaker and myself comfortable to express our feelings.