Conflict Isn't Just Born Out of Hatred, but Also Born Out of Love Essay

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The hot Jordan sand burns my eyes as it has been for the past 3 months. At least I am familiar with the sand as I have forgotten how my homeland was. It is not only the sand that burns my eyes, but also the killing and watching innocent families and individuals, covered in blood with my naked eye. The worst memory I have is being my own personal killing machine. The first person I had to kill has left a scar which I cannot forget. Every time I think about it or it comes to my mind, it gives me another reason to not live anymore, to put my own gun to my head. However, the more I stay with the army, the more innocent children and elders are losing their lives. But, even if i remove myself from the picture, there will be someone else to replace me and my gun. Killing innocent people has become a daily routine for me. It was 2 and a half months ago when I came fresh out of training and was ordered to kill a group of civilians when they were only protesting for basic human rights, except that death toll was not in the news, unlike the deaths from the twin towers in 9/11. Several weeks ago I was ordered to raid a house because my general was suspicious of their activity and there might be Palestinians hiding in there. There were 3 of us and it was going to be my first raid. I was walking around the house and it looked spectacular, nothing like you would find in Jordan. All 3 of us slowly get into the house through different ways. I had got in to the house from the back door. Once I entered quietly there was a huge kitchen which looked modern. However, I was ordered to check the rooms for any civilians. I started to slowly move towards the door and all I see are a couple of photos on the wall. I move towards the photos because they look familiar. I get one of the photos in my hand and it was my year 12 graduation photo as a class. I was shocked and confused. In a small

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