Commentary Example Essay

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Commentary My piece of writing [U Saved Me Annie] is a short story about bullying, from the point of view of the victim, which is fictional. It is a first person narrative, were the narrator [Jane] talks about herself and the struggle in her life. I have wrote it in first person because I thick it allows the reader/ audience to experience the thoughts and feelings of the character. My short story focuses on my character at a difficult point in her life and gives the reader a snapshot of the significant moment. It can be published online on websites or in magazines such as- The New Writer. The purpose of this short story is primarily to entertain; the secondary purpose of the story is the moral lesson behind it. This piece is aimed at audiences aged eleven to seventeen. I think it is suitable for this age group as they’re in school and bullying is mostly common there. In my story I use abbreviation. For example, ‘No 1 will miss U’. I have written this in a texting format as Jane is sent this message through Social media [Facebook], and also teenagers shorten words while texting etc. I also think that the use of the abbreviations appeal to my target audience At the very beginning of my story [2nd paragraph], I use a simple sentence. ‘A new school’. This short, simple sentence straight away indicates that a new school is the problem that Jane will face in the story. It emphasizes that everything goes wrong due to her starting a new school. I also use field specific lexis: ‘Unsociable’, ‘abusive’, ‘horrific’. I used these adjectives to show the intense feeling of shock and express the horror of a victim being bullied. ‘Huh, its kind of funny’. I use an interjection followed by irony to show that she actually feels the opposite of what she’s saying. In other words she doesn’t really find its funny. ‘The word turned on me like an army of wolves…’ this simile
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