A lack of this fundamental building block in a relationship can cause many disagreements and arguments. In “Say Yes”, by Tobias Wolff, the relationship between the two people has gone astray partly due to their ineffective communication: “Sometimes his wife got this look where she pinched her brows together and bit her lower lip and started down at something. When he saw her like this he knew he should keep his mouth shut, but he never did. Actually it made him talk more” (74). From here, the couple proceeded to get into quite the argument, showing that their communication habits are, indeed, unhealthy because the husband continued to talk, even though he knew it would lead to a disagreement.
Many couples argue to win but over the long term this often results in a breakup. Couples could avoid destroying their relationship by making time for each other not arguing ineffectively and learning the art of listening. Couples argue about many things finances, health, child rearing, commitment, etc. in order for an argument to be effective both parties must maintain focus on the topic at hand. When we digress and lose focus nothing is being accomplished.
Florence Foster Instructor David English 102 11 January 2011 I have chosen to write about Brent Staples “What Adolescents Miss When We Let Them Grow up in Cyberspace.” Staples argue that “so called online communities isolate adolescents and hinder their social development” (241). Which I believe to be true, but the world as we know it, is becoming very advanced to technology. So that would basically leave adolescents with two decisions, either they have to jump on board with technology, or be left behind. Which would you prefer? Social interactive technologies, such as instant messaging and texting messaging are beginning to redefine the social networks of today’s youth.
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, was said to have been written about how technology like television and other media were making people less interested in ideas. Bradbury was thinking of the future and how it could be affected by over use of electronics. Mathew Ingram, a blogger on Gigaom tech blog, had asked “Are we living in Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451?” I believe that we almost living in the world of Ray Bradbury’s novel. Too many people are more interested in media, than in books and ideas. The majority of society would would rather pick up their smartphones than pick up a book.
This has been an area of disagreement between Anthony and his wife and has led to a number of heated arguments between the two of them. Anthony described himself as fairly conservative and not a risk taker, and said that sometimes he couldn’t believe he had accepted a job in such a large company. On questioning, Anthony said that he sometimes felt OK and reasonably good about himself, but that these good feelings frequently gave way to incredible doubts and feelings of hopelessness, that he often felt ‘not good enough’ and ‘not worthy’. He had experienced these feelings before, but he felt they were more intense and more frequent since moving to his current position. He commented, “I’m not the person I thought I would turn out to be” and “I’m disappointed in myself”.
Challenges: How they can make you a better person Every day we are faced with challenges we must overcome, some challenges we face are harder than others and we may require help to break through the barriers we face. If we do not succeed with the challenges that are thrown at us, then we do not grow as an individual. With Dr. Malcolm Sayer in the movie Awakenings, he has trouble with people. At first Dr. Sayer cannot face any challenge that requires him to interact with people unless it involves the things he is passionate about, such as work. Dr. Sayer seems to be a lonely man with severe social anxiety, he would much rather be at home reading or studying his plants than interacting with people.
Argyle and Henderson (1986) found that breaking these rules caused relationships to breakdown. Cycles of negativity - Noller (1985) found that couples in a dissolving relationship are less sensitive to non-verbal signals. They may complain about each other, without actually paying attention to the other person's concerns. Lack of stimulation - Duck and Miell (1986) found sometimes one partner doesn't stimulate the other enough, this lead to the feeling of less mutual interests and the feeling of disinterest. A relationship that doesn't grow can lead to it ending.
I let my parents know that I hear what they are saying, and if I was in the wrong about anything that I heard or may have said I always apologize to them. I also try to find ways to make our conversation better and pleasant. To keep my communication skills sharp and accurate I have to take on going trainings, and I also read as much informative information on communication as I can. I really believe that proper communication and listen will take you along ways. .
Any working relationship can attest to that. There are many things that can obstruct quality communication, from busy schedules to assumptions. These things only clog your communication highways blocking the lanes of understanding each other. “Romantic relationships begin with a lot of sharing and excitement, but as time goes on, children, elderly parents, exercise routines, volunteer work and even hobbies can push the relationship to the back burner” (Schoenberg, 2011) I can relate to this article on the self disclosure in a relationship. It is especially difficult when lies and misdeeds are kept from each other.
Since being married, I have thought quite a bit about how my feelings and perception has changed in what I consider a strong relationship. When you’re younger you have for the most part very unrealistic ideals. Experience and maybe even a little heartache quickly jolt you into reality. My husband has many flaws as do I, however his flaws are some that many years ago I would have considered “red flags” and again distanced myself away from him. Age, maturity and my very own value systems have helped me look past the minute flaws into the qualities I will appreciate until we go full circle in older age and start annoying each other with our annoying senior habits.