Christmas Persuasive Speech

747 Words3 Pages
This year, I’ll do it, you think, I’ll get that slimy old vermin.
Last year, you had tried to keep the fireplace on all night to roast Santa, but it was easily circumvented by pouring water down the chimney. Before that was an intricate series of traps on your roof which were easily flown over. before that it was just you, standing alone with a garden hoe, but you fell asleep halfway through waiting.
Unlike everyone in this disturbingly jolly world, you completely despised Santa. Don’t let it be misconstrued, by no means where you a Scrooge; you happily volunteered your time to charity, you stayed out of people’s way and while you weren’t the epitome of joy, you never went out of your way to tear down the happiness of others. The thing was,
…show more content…
Your roof was lined with stationary flamethrowers – perpetually switched on – that were there on the flimsy excuse that they were ‘Christmas decorations.’ Your neighbours were too ecstatic with their belief that you were finally accepting Christmas to ever question it. The chimney was covered with tarp, glued tight. Ten minutes before you knew Santa would be making his appearance, you turned off the fireplace, piling the hot coals in a precarious heap, laden with oil. The doors, windows, and walls, were reinforced with dense steel sheets. A spirit could not make it through. Blade in hand, you…show more content…
“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Santa bellowed. You could hear the sudden halt of his sleigh, making your lips upturn slightly. The jingle of his sleigh faded as you heard Santa retreat. You weren’t stupid enough to think it was over, though. Sudden waves smothered the fires, your weariness completely warranted.
“That’s disappointing!” Saint Nick mocked, “Come on! Give me more!”
Just wait, you thought. Santa pulled the tarp away without ever faltering. You quickly turned off the lamp.
“Ho! Ho! Ho!” he jeered, jumping down the chimney. His thin moccasins could not shield his feet from the jagged edges and remnants of heat of the coal. Santa shrieked, piercing and thin. As Jolly, Old Saint Nick stepped forward, desperate to escape his pain, he fell into the fifteen-foot pit you had dug so diligently just hours before.
You turned your lamp back on, taunting the old fellow now entangled in a mesh of ropes. The ropes pulled tighter and tighter, your intricate contraption setting an excruciating pace. Saint Nick could feel his mortality as death stared him in the eyes.
You ran out onto the street, deranged yelling waking up the entire neighbourhood.
“I have Santa,” you cried, “I have

More about Christmas Persuasive Speech

Open Document