Big Girl in a Skinny World

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Big girl in a skinny world All my life people have commented on the way my body looks. Being curvy has always been considered as being overweight, even though, for most of my life, I have maintained a healthy weight. Throughout school, I was called fat and ugly by some kids, but the way my parents raised me, has given me self-confidence, so I did not care what those children said. When I spent a year abroad in the States in 2004, I gained 20 kilos, but there, nobody turned up their nose at me, and being in my first serious relationship gave me a huge boost of confidence as well. It seemed like I had finally broken the cycle of being the big girl out. When I came back to Germany, I faced the prejudices of our society against overweight people with an air of indifference. I felt untouchable. So when I took the subway into town this summer, wearing loose-fitting shorts and flaunting some seriously high plateau heels, I felt at ease with myself. As soon as I got on the train everything changed. A woman came up behind me and literally screamed at me: “If I (had as much cellulite and) were as fat as you, I would never dress this way! “ I was in shock. Everybody around me looked awkwardly to the floor. I sat down and told myself: “Don´t cry, don´t cry! “ I felt embarrassed and humiliated. I was ashamed of myself. Did I really look that bad? Had I really dressed inappropriately? I took the next train home immediately. Back at my apartment I cried for hours. I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time I saw a thousand flaws. My hips are too wide, my thighs too chunky and my boobs not as perky as they should be. I was devastated. Suddenly I could not stop making nasty jokes about how big I was, and I draped myself in long saggy shirts. It took a lot of time and the support of some truly amazing people to get me out of my state of

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