Jacqueline Terrenzi-English 090-70
Alcoholism not only takes you, it takes everyone around you.
I grew up in an alcoholic family. My father was a raging drunk who not only
hurt himself, but hurt the ones closestto him. Because of the atmosphere and the
friends I chose growing up I also became an alcoholic. For many, many years I
allowed alcohol and drugs to consume my life, my thinking, my spirit.
Growing up there was always yelling and arguing going on between my father
and my mother. A lot of things got broke and replaced. My dad was physically
abusive to my mother often. He never hit us kids but seeing the abuse to my
mother was abuse in itself. I remember one night when he came home in his
drunken state he woke me and my two older brothers and had my mom on the
bed with a shotgun threatening that he would kill her in front of “her” kids! How
insane is that.
Alcohol takes people out of their character. You say and do things you might
not normally do.
My mom stayed with my dad for several years thinking it was best for us
kids to have their parents together. I’m here to say that I think it did more harm
going on around young children the children should be removed immediately.
During my active use I alienated the ones closest to me. I allowed the
Friday and Saturday night with no problem – the difference is when everyone else
went home I was still at the bar. That’s when I think I first became aware I was
not like other “drinkers.” I wanted to drink until I couldn’tdrink anymore. Either
black-out or pass-out.
Drinking made me feel powerful. I felt fearless. For as long as I can
remember I was afraid. Afraid of what, I don’t really know. I guess the
in to play. When I was under the influence of any mind altering substance, I didn’t
feel fear. I was no longer afraid and felt somewhat “normal.”
Somehow I was able to...