We all want to know how it feels to be in love, to be special to someone, and to be loved in return. We want to get to know how it feels to be blindly in love, and do things we never imagined doing for someone. We start living a fairy tale without knowing what comes our way. We decide to give our all and take a ride on the roller-coaster of lust and love, giving our souls to one another, and sharing our hearts, because we think we will live happily ever after. So we decide to merge our lives in the legal contract of marriage. After years together, the passion has faded, the sex is infrequent, or nonexistent, and the marriage just isn’t the same, and it’s basically over. Then what?
In “Against Love”, Laura Kipnis has written an essay about love, marriage, and infidelity. She tells us at the beginning that this a polemic, and polemics don't tell both sides of the story. They do not mention the important parts like what causes the problems, and sometimes make fun of the situation. Laura Kipnis argues against marriage, and against fidelity, she hardly argues against love.
Kipnis informs us that “During the reign of courtly love, love was illicit and usually fatal. Passion meant suffering: the happy ending didn’t yet exist in the cultural imagination. As far as togetherness as an eternal ideal, the 12th century advice manual ”De Amore et Amoris Remedio” (“On Love and the Remedies of Love”) warned that too many opportunities to see a chart with the beloved would certainly decrease love” (pg. 735) this shows us that during that period of time people would not get married for love. They did not think that love was going to last an eternity because eventually it would fade away. Kipnis does not seem to believe in eternal love either.
Kipnis also informs us that “Before the 18th century- when the family was primarily an economic unit of production rather than a hothouse of Oedipal tensions- marriages were business...