After Dinner Speech (as Told by a Vampire)

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Introduction (Hook) Hello fellow equal rights advocates! I am truly pleased that you are all here tonight. I trust that you’ve enjoyed the meal provided to us by Red Cross and I please enjoy the dessert in front of you. This is one of my personal favorites: type o negative. She was 35, aged right to decadence. (wink). (Relate to audience) As many of you know, we are here today to discuss the levels of inequality between humans and vampires in today’s society. (Reveal Topic) Vampire Agency Making Progress Into Reaping Equal rights aims toward demanding the respect of humans despite today’s society. There seem to be some common misconceptions, not blaming anyone (cough) TWILIGHT. This is a serious problem. We as vampires used to be formidable and cause humans to tremble in their boots so to speak. Today, they all either want to be us, or fall in love with us! (Establish credibility) I myself have been associated with VAMPIRE since the New York Vampire Riots in 1882. For goodness sake, Dracula was at my wedding. But to get down to the point, there are serious atrocities that need to be addressed! Humans do not seem to understand that vampirism is not a choice, it is a way of life. (Preview Main Points) There are specific issues that I will discuss with you: human’s attitude toward vampirism, their eating habits, and finally their destruction of the planet earth. Main point #1 Humans attitude toward vampirism 1. It has come to a point in which humans no longer fear vampires as the lethal supernaturals that we were once regarded as. No, instead there are books on movies on blogs about vampires falling in love with humans and renouncing their human blood lust. This to me is absolutely preposterous! I do not play with my food, let alone romance them! I mean, imagine a human falling for their food. “Mom..Dad...my boyfriend is a cow. Now, keep an open

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