A Pastoral Care Response to the Challenge of Single Parenting

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INTRODUCTION This study is a product of some of the various experiences of the researcher as a local church pastor in Ogbomoso, a university town in Oyo State, Nigeria. Some of the ladies are getting close to age thirty and graduating from school without suitors with their parents and families getting increasingly worried and disturbed. There are others who got lured into pre-marital sexual activity in error and became pregnant or the male youths who impregnated ladies without any concrete plan for marriage. This pattern is being seen among youth of marriageable ages in cities and towns all over Nigeria. Life at its best is full of crises with every one having a fair share. According to Albert L. Meiburg, what people have in common in spite of their differences is their experience of needs. In life there are many walking through “…the valley of the shadow of death” with no sign of light at the end of the dark tunnel. Emerging out of this dark tunnel for many may require external help from friends and/or care-givers, which may not be readily available for many people in crises. The experience of pain no doubt has a way of changing the worldview of the sufferers of the pain. This is why genuine concern for the sufferers by the caregivers is needed. Billy Graham sums up the challenge of responding to sufferers in asserting that understanding the grief of others will be is difficult unless the caregiver has been in their shoes. In the words of Howard J. Clinebell, “the basic norm in the society is being married.” This view is accepted worldwide. Not only is being married a norm, singleness goes with stigmatization in the average African society where singleness is not encouraged. Families expect couples with difficult marriages to work out their differences and may not support divorce proceedings except in extreme situations. Due to this social view, it is easy to
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