A Letter from Eris

703 WordsAug 20, 20143 Pages
A Letter From Eris [Eris paces, writing on a piece of paper and reading aloud to herself] Dear Olympians, Deities, and Other Figures of Mythical Descent. I would like to humbly request that I, Eris, Goddess of Discord, will be invited to the upcoming conference on Mount Olympus for us gods and goddesses. I understand that this may come across as a large favor, but please hear me out. [Looking up from the papers, speaking dryly] Not that you even told me this shin-dig was even going to happen this time around. At least tell me when you all meet up, for our sake! I had to find this info out from some overly chatty nymph. [Reading aloud again] I understand that I have a history of bad conduct at parties, and that some may still hold a grudge against me for the Golden Apple Incident. [Looking up] How mature, huh? And come on, that party was dreadfully boring anyway. [She sighs, looking down at the paper with a bit of disappointment] Who am I kidding. They’ve ignored me for the last two millennia, and those old coots won’t change their opinions any time soon. It’s their loss of course, but isn’t it a bit immature to hold a grudge for this long? One little prank should not go on to define my entire eternal existence! [She pauses, looking back at the paper] They’re all so petty, honestly. It’s not like they’re as perfect as they claim to be. I could fill tomes upon tomes with lists of their faults. In fact, maybe that is what I’ll do! [She changes her posture, acting as if she is speaking to the other deities] Let’s start with Aphrodite. Oh, honey, where do I begin with you. Most would go about saying what a floozy, a harlot, or maybe even a hussy you are, but to reduce the grandeur of your absolutely shallow and spiteful personality- or lack thereof- to who you choose to- ahem- associate yourself with would just be demeaning. You are a brainless, callous

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