Luna Williams English 100 02/10/2014 Just Whom is This Divorce “Good” For? Divorce is a huge topic a lot of parents think about when they feel that there spouse is no longer compatible with them and also the fact that it’s not working out for reason only they will know. It may just be the fact that two people that were deeply in love just feel out of it because of no connection anymore. In the article “Just Whom Is This Divorce” Good” For? Written by Elizabeth Marquart talks about how divorce can cause children even from a good divorce go through it there selves when they get older, children also feel that they are to blame for their parents getting divorced and they lose all interest for other things, there is also a lot of controversy about which parent gets which day can just lead up to a huge custody battle for most.
The purpose of this paper is to critique Zinsmeister’s article, and explore its potential flaws and strengths. Summary In this article, Zinsmeister argues that parent’s divorce causes permanent damage to children that affects them the rest of their lives. He claims that divorce “has lasting significance on [children’s] later views of love, families, and life” (Zinsmeister 158). He outlines the ways in which divorce negatively affects children’s schooling, social interactions, mental health and even sexual identity and later marriages. He also claims that an unhappy household due to continued parental conflict causes less damage to children than divorce does, and thus preserving the marriage solely for the sake of the children is the best option.
Dressing children in adult clothing has been suggested as hurrying because it makes them look like adults so they feel they should act as adults and we lose sight of their innocence. Forcing children to participate in sports before their bodies are ready is also happening. Parents put too much pressure on children to win which takes the fun out of the already physically harmful game. The book goes on to talk about how different family lifestyles hurry children. Divorced and single parent families have a better chance of hurrying their children, while married families are able to set better examples.
A study from Enzine Article shows that, “Children with a missing father are two times more likely to drop out of high school or obtain a higher education.” A college education can become problematic for a child without a father for two reasons. While many single parent moms do heroic work parenting their children, the first is the inability of the mother to afford the costs of a college education. In addition, it also common for absent fathers to decline to pay for a child's college or higher education, even if they have been providing the funds for the regular child support. The second reason is more relevant to daughters than to sons. Women tend to lose a sense of security when they lack a father figure at younger ages.
Research shows us all the disadvantages that children of single parent households face and all of the advantages that children have that live in a two parent household. Children that live with only one parent is usually missing a father figure, which plays a vital role in the delinquency of children. Family structure is very important in the upbringing of a child and could be the deciding factor that leads to delinquent behaviors. Literature Review Children who live in homes with only one parent or in which marital relationships have been disrupted by divorce or separation are more likely to display a range of behavioral problems including delinquency, than children who are from two parent families (Thornberry, et al. 1999).
In a controversial study of divorced families, Blakeslee & Wallerstein (1989) state that most children have the same initial feelings. "When their family breaks up, children feel vulnerable, for they fear that their lifeline is in danger of being cut". Early on, children develop a sense of how relationships are formed and how they are maintained by watching their parents. Sometimes divorce can have a positive affect on a child if what they are observing from their parents is fighting and abuse while they are together. As a result of their parents divorcing, most people have a stronger desire to fix what their own parents could not in their own adult lives.
The U.S. Census Bureau reports that sixty percent of second marriages fail and sixty-six percent of marriage and living together situations end up in breakup when children are actively involved. Half of all American are involved in some form of step relationship. There are many who consider blended families as abnormal. Blended families are becoming more popular. Some will never consider blended families as being a tradition family inspite of the fact that they are becoming more common every year.
This can be damaging to a child because they feel as though one parent is paying the other to keep them. This is usually interpreted negatively. No matter how bad the situation is, if the child is not exposed to the financial distress of the parents, they will not be affected. Children that have no contact with one of their parents, usually suffer the most. Children whose parents divorce will be more likely to be isolated and antisocial than sociable and integrate.
Children are now living with one parents (a lone parent family), with another family member or are being adopted. Divorce was extremely hard to come across in the past, it was very sociallly unacceptable, and took around three years before the divorce was filed. However in the more recent years there have been laws passing in order to allow divoce to be easier and cheaper for families. In 1969 there was the introcution of the 'Divorce Reform Act', making it easier for married couples to get a divorce. It is notivable that religioin is becoming a decline, so more people are accepting divorce as they believe religioin is less important, whereas in the past religioin was highly important and the church would not accept people to remarry.
This causes kids to try to recreate “what was”. (DeBord, 1997, p.6) They will act like their parents never got a divorce, or they will try to get their parents back together. Kids do this because they feel at fault; they may believe something they did or said caused a parent to leave. All of these things happen to children during a divorce, it is a very hard thing for kids to cope with. The emotions in adolescents also suffer from divorce.