The Challenges of Cross-Sex Friendship

2448 Words10 Pages
Close relationships are important during child development, adolescence and adulthood. Recent studies have shown that friendship, in particular, serves as an important source of meaning, happiness, enjoyment and love (Hartup, 1996). Unlike other important relationship, friendship is not defined by kinship, legal ties or formal social obligation. Normally, there are no rituals surrounding the formation of a friendship. In fact, friendship rarely begins with two people declaring that ‘from this day forward, we will be friends’. Rather, friendships develop gradually and often voluntarily as the partners begin doing ‘friendship things’ together. Once formed, friendships are largely free of social norms or expectations that dictate when the partners should get together and how they should interact when they do. When a friendship ends, it generally does not do so as a result of an unannounced decision by one or both parties. Occasionally, of course, a friendship ends abruptly due to obvious breaches of good will such as dishonesty or betrayal. Most often, however, friendships merely fade away as the partners cease doing the things that gave the relationship its meaning (Fehr, 1996).This lack of social definition gives friendship its vague and intangible character. Nevertheless, friendships are clearly seen as a core aspect of our lives. Indeed, a qualitative study conducted by Klinger (1977) found that almost all respondents to the question “What is it that makes your life meaningful?” said that “friends” and also the importance of “feeling loved and wanted” made their life meaningful (p.15 as cited in Rawlins, 2009). The field of friendship research has developed enormously over the last 20 years and has involved a paradragmatic shift in focus away from an over-riding concern with the characteristics and properties of an individual, to discussing various issues
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