21 Ways to Stop Worrying

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Albert Ellis’s 21 Ways to Stop Worrying 1. Write self-affirming notes about how I don’t need to succeed all the time or get the love of people, I will sometimes fall on my face, be rejected, do stupid things because I am a fallible human and I will never be perfect or infallible, and that is perfectly okay. 2. Model by looking at people who don’t worry even under adverse circumstances, like reading about people in biographies or stories who went through adversaries and model myself after them 3. Reframing, take the bad things in my life that I use to create anxiety and look at them in a different light, see the stressors as frequently very interesting and exciting, and make it a fun challenge of overcoming them, and realize they almost all have some good points, I can learn by them and find some good aspects. 4. Referencing, go over all the disadvantages of worrying and panicking about everything and use them to motivate myself to give up caring too much/worrying/panicking/being afraid 5. Realize that when I’m upset, I think sloppily and talk to myself sloppily. Whenever I find myself saying “I should do well” change it to “I preferably should” or “I had better do well but I never have to” or “I have absolutely need to be loved, approved, adored” change it to “I’d like it, but it’s not a necessity” and “I’ll never succeed now that I have failed several times” to “I find it difficult to succeed, but there’s no evidence that I never will” 6. Find some good books and use psych educational methods in reading, listening, etc. that will show me how to unconditionally accept myself and give up all my commands and demands on my myself, on others, and on the world, because that’s what worry is: I demand that I do well, I demand that you treat me well, and I demand that world gives me what I want, and I damn well better give that up. 7. Find
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