You Just Don't Understand

1438 Words6 Pages
Women and men live in two different worlds. These different worlds make them have different point of view about something, which can lead to misunderstanding in conversation. In “You Just Don’t Understand,” Deborah Tannen pointed out three different aspects about women and men, socially. Those aspects were made through the examples she found in her research. Women and men have different goals in their lives. Women always try to build friendships. Doing this would make the relationships in the community grows stronger. Women also try to reduce the differences within them and others in order to make their friendships stronger. To women, the efforts to reach a goal must be done by making connections with the others. They like to discuss about “all” of their plans with their partners and see it as a sign of involvement and strong closeness in their relationships. Men tend to have opposite reactions. Boys growing into young men, focus more on being dominate, and having a strong desire to be the best at everything. Young men tend to continue giving orders to maintain dominance, which they view as strength. Men seek power; their social status is too important to their self-image. Tannen discussed the research of Marjorie Goodwin, who studied boys in Philadelphia for a year and a half. "She found the high-status men gave orders just to maintain their dominance, not because they particularly needed the thing done. And the men who were being told what to do were low status, by virtue of doing what they were told" (Tannen 53). Deborah Tannen is the author of the book, “You Just Don't Understand,” where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can read between the lines and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men

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