Actually, the language that women and girls use is to express and establish relationships of closeness and equality. For men, on the other hand, talk often serves the purpose of asserting one’s position within the hierarchy of the group. Therefore, men-only talk is of a more competitive, monologue based nature than women’s talk. Studies on gender difference indicate, for example, that minimal responses such as nods, “yes” and “mm hum” are common features of conversation. Those responses, however, usually provoke conflict as they have different meanings.
Gender Communication Problems The essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other” written by Deborah Tannen, discusses a few of the many problems that married men and women have with communication. This essay offers a brief view of her research that focuses on how men and women speak with each other. First Tannen focuses on how the genders socialize as adolescents. She then proceeds to explain the differences in men and women’s ability to listen to the others body language. Finally she discusses the sounds of silence and how each gender responds to the other while communicating.
The girls and women faced each other directly and their eyes anchored on each other face. Women and men take in conversation is their topical alignment. Furthermore, switching topics is a habit that gives women the impression men are not listening. Women expect a
They are often caught in a bind, wanting more emotional depth to their lives but not knowing how to get it because males are taught from a young age that to be emotional is for girls. Truth is, being emotional is for everyone. What's a poor woman to do? First and most important is to choose the right guy. Someone with whom you can establish a conversation and rapport before you jump into bed; however, one must recognize that men often do express affection through sex.
A girl could like boy toys more, where a boy could like girl toys. This is a never ending cycle but it does raise worry on parents when they see that their child wants to play with something like a toy gun that pops smoke or a tow sword which promotes only aggression and violence. Whereas girl toys in commercials show Ponies, barbies or jewelry making. These show skills on how to share and gain a social behavior skills. But for boys they have commercials of hot rods on a track which crash, or bad guys being tossed into a Lego prison.
“Boys’ groups are larger, more inclusive, and more hierarchical, so boys must struggle to avoid the subordinate position in the group.”(Tannen 102). Whenever boys and girls get together the girls want the same relationship with the boys as they do with their girlfriends. When the women start talking with boys they get into their drama, and men try to avoid those situations. Ladies usually want the man’s opinion but the men do not know how to explain it without hurting their feelings. Men tell the women another view of it and the women only like looking at their point of view.
She is the author of many famous books about relationship and communication, yet her “You Just Don’t Understand” book demonstrates most significant aspects about this issue. Especially of the chapter 5: “Lecturing vs. Listening”, Tannen indicates how men and women have certain different patterns to approach and serve a conversation. Women, tired of being lecturing by men, are now striking against men to blame them as the primary cause to women’s pressure, confusion, and anxiety. On the other hand, men claim to validate their right to conduct a conversation the way they want because they think women are likely the one who talks more, are repetitive, and offer less important topics. In the end, all argues are made by both sides turn out to be true in different aspects; neither side is absolute right or wrong.
In contrast, arguments among girls tended to end disagreements with behaviour that avoids them, while boys learn to deal with disagreements in a direct manner. Pitcher and Schultz (1993) in observing young children's play found a significant gender difference, with boy dyads marked by more negative
English 111-10 04/01/2012 Draft #1 Sex, Lies and Conversation Communication: The act of conveying information. According to statistics lack of communication or poor communication is the leading cause of divorce in first marriages with over fifty percent and over sixty percent with second marriages. Why are there so many marriages failing due to the lack of communication? Is it really that hard for husband to share information with his wife and vice versa? In Deborah Tannen's article Sex, Lies, and Conversation it is discussed the differences between the way men and woman communicate; moreover, it brings to light these differences and by doing so hoping to improve the quality of conversation between a man and a woman.
The study of sexism is a complex field. It can also refer to hatred of, or prejudice towards, either sex as a whole or the application of stereotypes of masculinity in relation to men, or of femininity in relation to women. I feel as if we have all sometime in our lives come across some form of sexism. I do believe that this will always be. We as a society may change things, such as laws and how we view women in the workforce, but sexism will always be a part of our society because of stereotyping and men will downplay women in any way we see fit to hold them at a lower lever, because they need power.