You get more stressed and hurt because you're keeping it private. If you had told them what you are going through, they wouldn't have asked you, which wouldn't make you so stressful. Keeping things private is a very good thing in your life, but there are things you should keep it private and things you should let it go. Sometimes, keeping everything to yourself could lead to hurting your feelings. Privacy is in everyones lives, it's either you choose to keep your stories to yourself or letting it
In truth, it was likely rare that a medieval girl would stand up to her father in regards to the suitor that he picked for her. It was likely even rarer that a girl would hit her own father. These are things seen as deeply disrespectful, and in the Middle Ages, respect for elders was important. Why, then, do we see Birdy doing both of these things even though she lives in the Middle Ages? The book is written for modern Americans, and modern Americans would find it in severe distaste to see a girl being blindly obedient to her father even when what he asks of her goes against her own wishes.
This idea can be seen through Atticus Finch extremely well. He grew up in an overly prejudice time, yet all he tries to do is help people, and tries to teach his children to do the same thing. For instance, on page 30, he is trying to teach Scout not to judge people because she didn’t always know the other person view of things, or their side of the story. “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” -Atticus Finch. Even with her Father’s prompting she doesn’t seem to understand, as she clearly has prejudice towards people like the Ewells and Cuninghams just for being poor, or different than her.
Novelist Amy Tan (Libi Pedder / Camera Press / Retna) Tan proves her point about parents’ influence on people’s life when she states “I think my mother’s English almost had an effect on limiting my possibilities in life as well”. By talking about how her mother’s English lacked a certain wholeness and clarity, she explains why her thoughts about her mother tongue were different when she was a child; “I believed that her English reflected the quality of what she had to say.” People in department stores, at banks, and at restaurants didn’t take her mother seriously, didn’t give her good service, pretended not to understand her, or even acted as if they didn’t hear her. Here Tan emphasizes the importance of mother tongue in somebody’s life. She believes that people may not be treated respectfully because of their poor speaking of any language. She never reflects on her mother’s difficulties as something that could’ve motivated her to become a writer.
One thing that could be argued, as I have already touched on, is Catherine’s childhood. Massie constantly refers back to Catherine’s life before royalty with her mother. Catherine’s mother, Johanna, never felt any maternal feelings towards Catherine. She had wanted a son, and when a daughter was born, she was not satisfied. She would give her child to servants to hold and never cared for her.
Her father had said, “None of the young men were quite good enough for Miss Emily and such.” (364) Her father never allowed her to make her own decisions even when she was almost 30 years old. Many people think that maybe the reason why he was so strict with Miss Emily and why he put so much pressure on her could have traced back to her family. Emily’s family was a very noble family and her father had thought that they were the most prominent in the entire town and that no one else was fit for Miss Emily. Any time a man would come close to being a part of Emily’s life, her father would not allow it and he would chase them all off. Her father had kept her away from any experience with love that she might ever have known.
Maybe improper education, and years of living in a subjective civilization have changed the immediate thoughts of the mother. The situation above is not the only judgemental one in the story. At the bottom of page 87, Mrs. Wilson asked, “’What about all your [Boyd] other brothers and sisters?’” Actually, Boyd had only one sister, Jean, who is going to become a teacher. Mrs. Wilson was obviously judging Boyd in her conversations, yet Boyd did not assume
Maggie’s mother was also older and better suited to be a mother because she was older and more experienced however, Maggie’s father also left the family. Maggie turned out to be shy and refrained from social life since she did not leave the house after being burned. “She stoops down quickly and lines up picture after picture of me sitting in front of the house with Maggie cowering behind me” (Walker 746). Too much attention leads to Maggie clinging to her mother and not enough attention drives Emily to not seek out a close relationship with her mother. Both mothers are concerned with the status of their daughters.
This may make them grow into caretakers who are a little more aggressive when it comes to such activities that they may have missed out on. Acocella writes about how normal it is to know parents nowadays who more or less spoil their kids into adulthood. Spoiling though isn’t the only aspect of over parenting. Anxieties about the child’s well-being, and the extreme pressure to achieve from a young age are two other factors. The writer cites many different authors who have written books slandering this new type of “invasive parenting.” Acocella mentions an editor at Psychology Today, Hara Estroff Marano, who speaks about a company that (for a fairly steep price) will send parents DVDs of Mozart and Beethoven classics set to stimulating videos.
This resistance of change holds the person back as they fear failure. Anxiety and resistance to change go hand in hand. Anxiety stops us from taking action in our lives and makes us resist change by stirring up fears of what is not known. Often certainty is more comfortable than uncertainty. The anxiety underlying our fear of change leads to other more specific fears that support a resistance to change.