In the Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben-Shahar, he sheds some light into the possibility of obtaining a happy life even with the struggles and challenges that may come our way. It is how we tackle these obstacles and avoid being a perfectionist and adopting an Optimalistic approach. Tal Ben-Shahar provides a step-by-step process to conquer the fear of failure and by taking these tools we learn and apply them to our love life and our lives in general. Failure is a word that most of us don’t want to hear or even experience. We do everything we can to steer away from failing by putting a ton of pressure on ourselves, creating intense anxiety and ultimately being unhappy.
A romantic relationship is not anything to take lightly, but we as a society these days take the word ‘boyfriend’ or girlfriend’ way too seriously. In my personal experience, friendship always comes before relationship, most importantly with your boy or girlfriend. A few couples I know always have to tell their significant other where they will be and what they are doing twenty-four hours a day. Seriously, they are an individual with a life to live of their own, and they choose for you to be a part of it, not be the whole thing. Marriage is another part that should not be jumped into too hastily, and should be taken as a serious commitment.
People, who are facing “under- indulging” will know the importance of hard work to satisfy their needs. People, who are not facing “under- indulging” won’t know the importance of hard work because they have all that they want without doing any hard work. Satisfying our needs by doing hard work has its own mysterious fun and enjoyment. After getting familiarized with the value of our needs and importance of hard work to satisfy ourselves with special needs, when we get it, we find out incredible happiness, we cannot explain. Article of New York Times: “Don’t Indulge.
Because you do not know what the other one is bringing into the relationship, a new relationship is the hardest to know what is being brought into the relationship. Until one know how to share, trust and care. The three things a person needs to have a good relationship are good communication, trust, and respect. If a relationship does not have any of these things then it becomes hard to have a very successful relationship. If you would want to build a strong relationship with one partner they must have respect for each other.
They both describe how one goes through life learning from life’s struggles. Paulo Coelho says in The Alchemist “We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it’s our life or our possessions and property, but this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world are written in the same hand” (Coelho 76). What Paulo is talking about, is that we are afraid of loss. One does not want to lose their belongings, but once one understands that one’s life needed to lose those things in order to become who they are in life. In comparison Gary Allan sings “Life ain’t always beautiful some days I miss your smile I get tired of walking all these lonely miles” (Gary Allan).
Thankfully, this stage in a relationship is only temporary. However, many couples mistake this hormonal surge as the sign that this is the one-and-only person they could spend the rest of their lives with. When the haze dissipates, only the strong relationships survive. If each couple contemplating marriage during this phase were to move in together first, the prospective married couple would be able to determine if their feelings were deeper than pure physical
There is success and then there is failure, no one I know in their right mind would want to be a failure, they may think they are because of circumstances but in ways failure can be motivation towards success. It causes you to have more effort and be more focused and driven to not let things affect you on your quest to success. Motivation will keep me on my feet and, have me next in line to success because it is really important to keep the motivation rolling, so as to feel like there is hope and, that all that you are doing to be successful is not a waste of time or in vain because it will eventually pay off in the end. In a number of ways, if you constantly think you are a failure and this and that, the way you think may turn to eventually be reality. Success is not the same route for everyone, you will have something that works for you but not the next person because it all depends on you.
Why is the era spreading the essence of breaking trust? There is a tendency of attraction between people in naturally. Because of social and religious restrictions, people keep control of this tendency. It is impossible to find what a human mind truly desire, what the heart is always quenching for. It is impossible for anyone to find the right partner, with whom you can always be happy.
Because modern humans are alienated from each other and from nature, we seek refuge from our aloneness in romantic love and marriage (pp. 79–81). However, Fromm observes that real love "is not a sentiment which can be easily indulged in by anyone." It is only through developing one's total personality to the capacity of loving one's neighbor with "true humility, courage, faith and discipline" that one attains the capacity to experience real love. This should be considered a rare achievement (p. vii).
I do believe that it is difficult to gain access to the zone of the sacred because it requires an open heart, mind and soul to do it. In this day and age people are very skeptical and need proof rather than just relying on faith. To obtain this goal requires a life style that seems unnatural to human beings. We live in a time where money, material, sex and drugs are our idols. Instead of filling ourselves with God, we are filling ourselves with temporary satisfactions because those things give us immediate pleasure.