Dominique Becker chose to focus her paper on the Progressive Era and the treatment of immigrants during this time. When groups were formed and I was to conduct a peer review on Dominique’s paper, there were a couple of questions I wanted to ask. I ask Dominique what she wanted me to get out of her paper as a whole, and what types of things did she want me to focus on while reviewing her paper. Dominique explained she wanted the reader to gain a better understanding of the harsh life these immigrant workers were going through. She also explained that while I was conducting my peer review to make sure the topic was consistent.
While reading Dominique’s paper I was impressed with the way she vividly explained to her reader the mistreatment and harsh realities of living during this time and being a poor immigrant. I felt this explanation of the immigrant’s difficult life is the best part of the paper. She explains in dramatic fashion the hardships these individuals faced not just at work but at home in their everyday life. She uses detailed examples from various sources to compliment her descriptions. Her examples and descriptions were the highlight of her paper. Also I felt she had a strong conclusion and even related today’s mistreatment of immigrants to the mistreatment of the immigrants during the Progressive Era.
While reading Dominique’s paper I felt there were a lot of phrases that could be re-worded. The main phrase I felt which needed to be re-worded was the thesis. Her thesis was not appalling, but it was not the best. The concept of her thesis was great. She explained her paper, and it contained the pieces of a good thesis just was not worded the best. I feel if Dominique re-words her thesis and breaks it down a little better then she could have a successful thesis.
I think Dominique wrote a successful paper. She had all the right pieces for a great paper, I just feel there are some sentences which need to be re-worded to give her reader a more clear and...