Common Reasons for the Rising Divorce Rate
Although every marriage is different, similar circumstances can be the cause of divorce. The essay written by Anne Roiphe, “Why Marriages Fail”, explores a multitude of common reasons for the rising divorce rate. External factors such as job loss, illness, or financial peril, as well as internal factors that come from the psychological disharmony of an individual, are all common reasons for ending a marriage.
Roiphe explains that, as humans, we have innate instinct to choose a mate who has qualities similar to that of one’s mother or father. Marital therapist, Dr. Carl A. Whitaker concurs that “From early childhood on, each of us carried models for marriage, femininity, masculinity, motherhood, fatherhood, and all the other family roles.” We unconsciously and consciously bring memories of our parents’ relationship into our own marriages. These unfulfilled expectations, caused by an internal struggle, can lead to a crippled marriage.
Although individuals can overcome psychological patterns accrued during childhood, the hard work of changing those patterns becomes an oxymoron of age-old myth of marriage. Roiphe continues to explain that people assume that all problems will be solved and life will become easier once you marry. In making this statement, the author shows that true hard work of marriage ultimately begins when you say “I do”.
Common sense seems to dictate that communication is the key to a healthy marriage. Roiphe endorses this belief by stating that, “Many marriages fall apart because either partner cannot imagine what the other wants or cannot communicate what he or she needs or feels.” Setting up new ways of communicating with a spouse can help to create a stronger bond within the union.
Advancing as a union as well as an individual gives a sense of balance between the two extremes. Roiphe uses a quote from a psychiatrist at the New York University Medical Center. Dr. Stuart Bartle, says...