She insists that Chinese children know that their parents think of them highly, and criticize them only because they know their kids can achieve high expectations. Hanna Rosin disagrees commenting that “there is no reason to believe that calling your child 'lazy' or 'stupid' or 'worthless' is a better way to motivate her to be good than some other more gentle but persistent mode” (Rosin). She feels that as a parent her job is not to be a harsh critic but to encourage them. Rosin is not concerned with making her children the best but rather with making her children happy and building them up. She states that even when her children give her lopsided, hastily drawn birthday cards, that she praises them as if they
Our “Mother Tongue” is what gives us identity; it defines who we are, and therefore, people should value their native languages. The effect of western education on the relationship between parents and children is also another theme in the article. The initial bad relationship between Tan and her mother is caused by Tan’s feeling that that her mother is uncivilized and uneducated. This problem is common in the present world where once children have attained western education, they start disrespecting their parents or disassociating with them because they feel ashamed of the parents’ mother tongue influenced English. It is important that people learn to appreciate their parents irrespective of their level of education or their cultural background; after all, we owe our lives to
According to Chua, Chinese parents do not only set strict rules and regulations that their children have to abide by, but they also use negative reinforcement when their children do not want to obey their orders. In contrast, western parents believe that it is unnecessary to control their children preferences such as, no watching T.V, studying excessively and only participating in extracurricular activities that they are assigned to be successful throughout life. However, Chua claims that the children brought up by the “Chinese mother” style of parenting still turn out not only to be mentally, physically, and emotionally stable but happy and as well as successful later on in life. Chua says she knows this because the “Chinese mother” methods help her raise two successful kids. She gives a list of things that her children were not allowed to do, which consist of them not taking part in any school plays or getting any grades less than an A and that it all paid off for her in the end.
Sometimes, an individual may be required to fulfil a role not through choice, but rather one that is determined by the individual’s links with one’s cultural background. For example, individuals stemming from Chinese backgrounds are often portrayed by the media as being required to be academically excellent by their parents. It is fair to assume that not all Chinese children choose to live out this role, as Vanessa Woods indicates in “Perfect Chinese Children”. Wood’s identity has been forged soon after birth by her underpinning Chinese heritage. It could be inferred that such harsh expectations on Woods has stifled the growth of her identity, because she was forbidden to fulfill her ambitions of becoming a writer, and instead was almost coerced into succeeding academically and making her mother proud.
Chua emphasizes that the different parenting mode Chinese parents use in comparison to that of Western parents reflect how “they would give up anything for their children.” However, from children’s perspectives, would children appreciate and acknowledge such a parenting mode and believe that their Chinese parents truly care them? Chua believes that her “Chinese parenting mode” is the most effective for a child but her belief is valid only to her and other Chinese parents because they are simply parents, not children. Chua has not considered a modern day child’s perspective on such a way of parenting. In fact, such strict rules and punishments can end up producing an unhealthy thought to children, causing them to become depressed or mentally ill or traumatized by their parents’ harsh discipline. From my knowledge, I grew up with a family friend, Amber, whose parents were just as how Chua characterize Chinese parents.
Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior The article ”Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” focuses on the fact that chinese children are turning out to be so stereotypically successful. Amy Chua points out that there is a big difference between Chinese mothers and Western parents and the way they raise their kids: ”What Chinese parents understands is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up.” I think this quote makes a good picture of how she thinks of herself as a parent and the Western people as parents. To make her point clear she uses a lot of pathos and a lot of examples from experiences with herself and her two daughters, Louisa and Sofia.
Another Asian culture is that young adults have responsibility for taking care of elders. Education is also important for Asian family. Asian parents always push their children very hard and force them to get very high scored on their education because they want their children to be “perfect”. Asian parents believe that high education can get a much better life and job. Asian parenting might look pushy and pressuring to Western eyes, but that is what Asian-American children say their parents’ guidance is warm and love.
Married family parents have already experienced this part of the relationship which allows children to see a more conservative and committed relationship. Schools also can play a large role in hurrying children. Our schools today stress our kids with their high demands on academic achievement, children which in turn has led to higher suicide rates. If it is not enough that the schools are putting a high amount of pressure on our children they are also taking away their free time. The book suggests that play time is one of the most important part of childhood.
with their emphasis on nurturing their children's self-esteem and allowing free expression, have set their children up to accept mediocrity. "Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently," she says. If their child doesn't achieve perfect exam results, the Chinese parent assumes it's because he or she didn't work hard enough.
These two songs were two halves of a same song, which also shows the struggle inside her. She wants to satisfy her mother and become successful, but she wants her mother to be happy with who she is at the same time. She thought that if she listens to her mother, she will lose herself, and her mother will only love her because of the result but her, so she stops trying. She wants the empty part to be fulfilled by her mother’s acceptation. However, she doesn’t take a chance to trust in herself nor her mother.