It was an experience that I did not know how to handle. For my son and I it was very difficult and life changing. After the divorce I decided to relocate with my mother. I knew that after all she was the only person that can help me gain that strength and will power I had before this experience. I knew that I had to make changes not only for me but, for my son.
It might be easier trying to find a desk job but always wondered if another layoff would be inevitable. So did I want to look for a new job, or go back to school? This was a very tough decision that I felt I would never be able to make. So after a few weeks of being uncertain I made the decision to change the field of occupation I was in. So I took the first step and contacted West Virginia Northern Community College and picked up a
I guess she noticed my reticence and decided to change my ways. I hadn't spoken to someone about my feelings for years, and right now I had so much of them that I just had to let something out. With implicit trust, I told her my innermost secrets. I told her about the letter I had written for my wife not a long time before I was released. I wrote that I would understand if she already had a new husband and did not want me to come home.
Maybe some of the times were my fault for falling behind due to procrastination but a lot of times I blew it off because I didn’t know how to begin or how to do it at all. When I finally had enough I started to stay after school to receive tutoring and to make up assignments and it made me wish I had done that a long time before. Being able to actually do the work that was given to me was having so much weight taken off my shoulders. When it was time to start deciding what I wanted to study in college, I drowned myself in stress all over again. I saw everyone else around me getting their acceptance letters and I knew that they were set.
Sarcasm appears to be a defining adjective used to describe me, from my sister to my students. I have always felt it was part of my sense of humour but have come to understand it just keeps people at a distance. My separations have had a much bigger emotional impact on me than I was willing to admit or was even aware of. When my wife was away at university during the week, I become focused on work, I even looked forward to her departure on Sunday. The separation was an opportunity for me to have my space back to myself again, but when she returned, I was distant from her, territorial and even resentful of her moving things in the kitchen or around the house.
That void in my life is no longer there once I finish that book; the book has given me a concrete story to hold on to and understand and remember forever. On the other hand, there are so many aspects of our lives that are uncertain and not there forever. A recent friend’s brother suddenly and unexpectedly passed away, making me realize that my own sister could be gone in an instant if she is not careful. Although I know that if she were to pass away a huge part of my life and heart would die with her, my identity would be the same. Her passing would shape my identity, just as her life has, but in no way is she a percentage of my identity.
I was up for the challenge even though I had nothing to lose, but had much to gain. Due to the challenges I faced with my divorce, and the resignation of my job, I felt I losed everything I worked hard for. However, in the mist of having both it was tearing me apart for years. Therefore, difficult decisions had to be made in other to find myself again. Having peace in my life was not an option anymore.
But after writing numerous papers on my grandmother’s death and being dishonest in my writing, I can now honestly say that her passing has become less relevant every time I write a semi fictional story for a passing grade. I realized that each attempt to write a personal essay brought me farther away from anything truly personal and with that dishonesty it made personal situations less personal, and alienated myself from my
You see it was an opportunity that hasn't been available to us for over a century so I had to go! Anyhow I'm aware that I should have made arrangements prior to my hunt but It was kind of sprung on me by family members. Thanks for your consideration,
I fell in love with you the first time we met, and our bond would only grow stronger. Every waking hour I thought about you and was even planning how we could be together the next day. We had several altercations that got me in trouble with the law and put my freedom in jeopardy. Nevertheless, you were always there when I got released and it seemed as though the altercations had never taken place, because you were more than willing to take me back and be there to comfort me. Our relationship was undeniably rocky, but somehow we seemed to stay together.