Accepting Family Death

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The loss of a loved one in a family is devastating, especially when that member that dies is someone very close and special. After having attended two funerals this past week I find most all people go through the same grieving process, except each person handles grieving in different ways. I have been involved in nursing for the past two years and I have found that anger, denial, shock and disbelief are the emotions most often seen in family members of a deceased person. Anger is a very strong emotion, and I believe it is one of the most misunderstood of all. As a nurse, I have found that the anger the family shows to the staff taking care of the dying patient is not really directed at the staff, but at themselves. The family feels helpless, frustrated, and at times guilty because they want to do more for their loved one but at the same time, deep in their own hearts they know there isn't one thing they can do. When their loved one finally dies, it is much easier to displace their feeling on the other people because I believe it makes it easier, at the time, to deal with the death. During my first year in nursing I was taking care of a dying patient with cancer. The patient's doctor had already talked with the family and informed them that the patient had about a couple days left to live. Needless to say, this patient died that same day while I was taking care of him. Being in nursing, I always knew I would have patients die while I was taking care of them. I had analyzed my own feelings about death so when the time came I would be able to deal with the situation. Well, it didn't turn out at all the way I had expected. An older brother of the deceased descended on me with fire and brimstone, accusing me of being the blame for his brother's death because, after all, I was only a student nurse and how dare the hospital place a student nurse to take care of someone as

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