A Scene from Alice in Wonderland (Script)

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Scene: A long narrow kitchen filled with smoke. There is a forest at R. There is a cook stooping over a stove in C. R. corner. The Duchess is sitting C. on a three legged stool, holding a baby. The Cheshire Cat is also sitting, at R. of the Duchess. The Duchess is sneezing occasionally and the baby is alternately wailing and sneezing. The Cheshire Cat is grinning from ear to ear. Alice enters from door on R. and proceeds halfway into the room: Alice: [while starting to sneeze.] There’s certainly too much pepper in that soup! [Looking to the Duchess.] Please would you tell me why your cat grins like that? Duchess: [Slightly haughtily] It’s a Cheshire-Cat, and that’s why. Alice: I didn’t know that Cheshire-Cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t know that cats could grin. Duchess: [With increasing haughtiness.] You don’t know much and that’s a fact. [Cook starts to pick up any object within reach and throw it at the Duchess and the baby. The Duchess pays no attention to the objects, even when hit by one. The baby increases it’s wailing, if that is possible. Alice becomes terrified and starts to jump up and down in a agony of terror.] Alice: [To the cook.] Oh, please mind what you’re doing! Duchess: Here! [Flinging the baby at Alice the Duchess rises to leave.] You may nurse it a bit, if you like! I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen. [Duchess leaves L.] Alice [Alice caught baby with difficulty, and seems to debate whether to take it with her, or not.] Oh! [Crying out to self.] If I don’t take this child away with me they’re sure to kill it in a day or two. Wouldn’t it be murder to leave it behind? [Baby then grunts.] [Alice addresses baby]If you’re going to turn into a pig, my dear, I’ll have nothing more to do with you. [Baby then grunts again, this time very violently. Alice looks into it’s face and startled drops it. The
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