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I believe that in life we always be confronted in the cross road of decision, meaning that we need to chose a single decision which will lead to a path. After one decision has been made than we are again confronted with the other, all along the way until our life finished, eventually our life was merely a series of decision.

As an evolved mind creature human always try to rationalize their decision, with its basic instinct i.e. we all want to live our life happily (although sometimes the essence of happiness is being equal to wealth has mislead many people in pursuing for their happiness). Each individual have their methods in rationalize their decision, one using past regression, other using benefit vs loss, and the rest just play dumb and go along without thinking. As a spiritual being I also believe that our life path is unconsciously predetermined, some recognized this as consciences, other faithfully believe as the fate but the rest (mostly) just felt it as the simple life's coincidences. The last but not less important is fear, driven by mankind superiority feeling against the universe people are fear on the unknown and the uncertainty, we tend not to drive ourself out from the comfort zone. We experience this whenever the "what if" thought arise prior to making a decision.

Anyway I am not trying to riddle with this because as long as the mankind history hundreds of philosopher have tried to figure it out which is which. My point is, in making a decision we always running between these poles and eventually a decision will be born holistically from these poles, which concludes that living out our decision sometimes is difficult but making it is even hideously unbearable.

Now in between of my murderously errands, I am once again in that cleavage of my life where I am deemed to make a decision, like one of Shakespeare's eternal statement - to be or not to be - (in my circumstance become to leave or not to leave...