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A CNN reporter is putting together the story of the impending invasion
of the land of Canaan by the Israelites. The reporter states that the
Israelites are justifying their cherem/invasion through the word of
their god, Yahweh. According to their Israelite spokesperson, “Yahweh
promised this land to our ancestors. It is ours!” To share this story
as objectively as possible, the reporter decides to get Canaanite
viewpoints of this perilous situation and asks to speak with you,
Ms. Canaanite. What is your response?

My name is Ms. Canaanite. My husband came home last night and informed me that the Israelites are planning on invading and conquering the town in which we live, Jericho. I hate to tell those poor souls, but they are never going to get pass the wall of Jericho. I watched my father and other fellow Canaanites build that wall. It is so thick and well guarded there is no way those puny little Israelites will make it past the wall. Furthermore, the rumor is that they are not going to even try to conquer the walls of our great city by force instead they are going to march around them and on the seventh go around they are going to play their trumpets and shout. Now supposedly when they do that the massive walls of Jericho are going to come crumbling down. I am usually not so mean and straightforward, but really Israelites your Yahweh is steering you in the wrong direction. There is not even a point for those Israelites to get hyped or excited about their cherem to Yahweh because it is never going to come to pass.
[Reporter: Ms. Canaanite is there a last word you would like to say to the Israelites?]
Yes, Good Luck attempting to invade our great city. Yes, OUR city. Yahweh may have promised you this land, but we arrived here first, and it is OURS.