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Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “It is a luxury to be understood”. Why is it that you can say the exact same thing to three different employees or coworkers at your company and get three different reactions? One will give you a blank stare. The second will respond with a stream of excuses. And the third understands what you are saying and comes up with a suggestion that you hadn't even considered.
Why are some people able to listen actively? And why do others seem to just not get it? Is it the chemistry between two people? Laziness? Not caring? Stubbornness? Difficulty focusing?
Today I’m going to tell you about the different categories of poor listeners and some techniques on how to deal with them while you’re on the job.
Good Listeners
Before delving into why some people seem to have listening deficits, let's take a moment to consider good listeners. Think of how doctors listen before making a diagnosis. After asking, "What's wrong?" the best doctors listen attentively to the patient's words and tune in to any unusual symptoms. While being keenly aware of what's "going around," doctors listen so as not to jump to any conclusions. Then, after sifting through all the available information, the doctor can make an accurate diagnosis.
Accurately processing information is what good listeners do naturally. However, the reality is that for many people, listening is a skill that requires constant sharpening. Why is this? I have found that poor listeners basically fall into one of three categories. They are: self-absorbed, unfocused and rules driven. Let’s start with the self-absorbed individuals.
Poor Listeners
Self-Absorbed
These individuals place their own priorities above yours. They may be opinionated, stubborn or perhaps overly driven to have you agree with them. As a result, they come off as "knowing it all" and not really having the time or desire to listen to anyone.
Unfocused
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