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Dead Man’s Cove or Broke

Dear Friends,
First of all, I’d like to say Hello, Hi, Aloha, Bonjour, Hola, and Word! Sara, congratulations on the job, and Jason, “stay off the dope.” As you all know there has been some controversy lately over the perfect place to throw our annual summer kick off party. My position on the issue is that it should be held at Dead Man’s Cove due to the river, the fact that it has “the Rock”, and the location. I’m writing this letter in hopes that you will understand my opinion more fully, and be able to come to your own decision well informed. Hopefully we can maximize the fun-level at this event to an all time high.
As you all know, this party sets the precedent for every party this summer, and if we fail to throw anything less than a rock star, ass kicking, balls out bash, then we might lose our clientele, our reputation, and even our dignity no less. Four straight years running we have had immeasurable success, and very few failures. If we let this one be a failure then we might ruin a dynasty! Our personal satisfaction stands precariously balanced on the fence between our decisions.
Dead Man’s Cove is an excellent choice for many reasons, the first being its desirable geography. The inland area is approximately 400 feet wide and nearly 200 feet back, and is spackled with lush trees and very little underbrush. Up to twenty vehicles can be parked among the trees. The dirt road that leads into the area is well maintained enough to accommodate cars as well as trucks, and also boat trailers. The shoreline curves inward to form an almost complete circle, missing it by about sixty degrees. This provides us with concealment from the boating enthusiasts abroad on the river. The sand isn’t too deep and the water depth increases sharply enough to allow the launching of those boats brought in from the road. The sandy beach also offers an awesome place to relax and vegetate. Water temperatures stay cool during...