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What do most parents want for their children? High on their list are: happiness, success in school, satisfaction with their lives, and solid friendships. In order to reach these goals, our children need inner strength to deal competently with the many challenges and demands they encounter. We call this capacity to cope and feel competent resilience.
Although the word resilience has typically been applied to youngsters who have overcome stress and hardship, we believe that it should be understood as a vital set of qualities for every child. Even children fortunate enough not to face significant adversity or trauma experience the pressures around them and the expectations placed on them.
THE MINDSET OF A RESILIENT CHILD
Resilient children are hopeful and possess high self worth. They feel special and appreciated. They have learned to set realistic goals and expectations. They have developed the ability to solve problems and make decisions and thus are more likely to view mistakes, hardships and obstacles as challenges to confront rather than as stressors to avoid.
Resilient children are aware of their weaknesses and vulnerabilities but they also recognize their strong point and talents. They have developed effective interpersonal skills with peers and adults and are able to seek out assistance and nurturance in appropriate ways. They focus on the aspects of their lives over which they have control rather than those over which they have little or no influence.
There¡s no one proved golden path to the future. Each child travels through life on a unique road that is shaped by a variety of factors, including his or her inborn temperament, educational experiences, family style, and values as well as the broader society or culture.
However, there are some guideposts that provide principles and actions applicable to any road a child travels. Some of them may seem like simple common sense. But even those that appear obvious...