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Society has always put an emphasis on external appearance as opposed to inner personality. As a result, social classes are formed, such as upper and lower, where members of each class must uphold the norms defined by the status of the class. Upper classes are deemed to be perfect, as they contain the wealthy and the beautiful. To be beautiful is to be enjoyable but with others, unfortunately, it goes way beyond that which can lead to many troubles.
My upbringing in a perfect society ultimately led to the destruction of my life which coincided with the lives of those emotionally close to me. I was raised in an atmosphere where beauty and physical appearance define one's quality of life. This superficial way of life results in a lost sense of morals and selfishness, which in turn produces a lost sense of personal identity. This has caused a feeling of failure and resentment in my life which has been externalized into a form of hatred directed toward myself.
I was born into an upper class family, and experienced a pleasant childhood. ...during every hour of my infant life I received a lesson of patience, of charity, and of self control, I was so guided by a silken cord that all seemed but one train of enjoyment to me. (Shelley, Frankenstein, P. 33). However, my family was mainly concerned with physical appearance. My father married Caroline because of her exquisite beauty, and Elizabeth was adopted into the family, also because she was beautiful. I was a product of idealistic education. As a result of my childhood, I was left with no sense of inner beauty. My disillusionment with parenthood, especially mothering after I lost my mother to scarlet fever, led to post-partum depression and neglect. I experienced the burden of loneliness by living in a superficial society and not having a way to cope with it. Parenting had become an issue of possession, ownership and self-exaggeration.
The issue of parenting soon became an obsession with power....