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Big Nose (A Modern Cyrano) by D. M. Bocaz-Larson






Cast of Characters

CYRIL (MAN): A local man who has a rather large nose.

CAPTAIN: A bad actor who makes William Shatner look good.

SOLDIER: Another equally bad actor.

FRIEND(S): A friend of CYRIL’s in the audience who can be played by one or more actors of either gender.

ROXY: An actress in the CAPTAIN’s play who catches CYRIL’s eye.

KELLY: CYRIL’s friend who runs the theatre.

Time and Place
A modern day community theatre in small town USA.

Scene 1

(Lights come up on a poorly constructed set. There is a balcony with odd
colored cloth hanging down and a backdrop that is supposed to be a castle. Two men enter in Shakespearean type dress. They are very bad actors who think they are very good)

CAPTAIN
Look at yonder window, friend. She awaits me, she does.

SOLDIER
Doth she?

CAPTAIN
She does.

SOLDIER
But doth she love thee?

CAPTAIN
She does.

SOLDIER
So good for you.

MAN
(From audience)
So bad for us!
(He and FRIENDS laugh. The two actors take a quick glance out in surprise then quickly get back in character)

CAPTAIN
Uh... yes. She loveth me. She wroteth a letter.
(Takes it out. Sniffs lovingly)
Ah, doth though smelleth her fragrance? Doth thou find it heavenly?

SOLDIER
(Excited)
I smell. I smell.
MAN
You can say that again.
(He and friends laugh. The two actors try to hide their anger, but they don't do it well)

CAPTAIN
Tonight, I shall go to her. Tonight. Tonight!

MAN
When?!
...