Letter Of Response Essay

ANKIT SHARMA

LETTER OF RESPONSE

WRA-150

September 16, 2011

Dear Hussain Alsatarwah,

I would like to give you some information concerning your Literacy narrative

“succeeding in life”. The theme you chose for your literacy is very appropriate .

The way you introduced your literacy in the first paragraph by mentioning that

“everyone has a goal and a field of interest in which if they work hard they

succeed” was nice . But there can be some repair work done.

You should concentrate a lot on grammatical errors as there are

a lot in the first paragraph itself. Etcetra should be ETC, and the starting line

“everyone has aim in his or her own life to become succeed “ you should write it as

“everyone has a   aim in his or her own life to succeed”. There are more mistakes

about which I will tell you further in this letter. You stated a thesis in your sixth

paragraph that because of your desire in electronics ,electrical engineering was your

first choice as a major. Then in the the forth paragraph you stated that your

interest in electronics blossomed during the high school years. The thing

missing is that you should actually   write what attracted you towards electrical

engineering, Was it some sort of incident which happened with the technology you

were using? or was it by seeing advancement of technology around you which

baffled you with its awesomeness? You should explain this in a more appropriate

way so that you convey the real idea of your literacy. You mentioned about your

childhood, how you   went to an elementary school immediately after

homeschooling. Having no experience at all. yes that’s tough.

You wrote that your elementary school years were full of frustration but when you

  went to high school you loved it. You stated that for some personal

problem you started liking high school. the literacy narrative would become more

interesting to read...